My Ausmat journey

So im done with ausmat.Finally!hopefully i'll get the TER required for uni.Since i am very free now I am gonna write something new.Im going to write about a random topic which i havent decide. I'll just type, continue typing till i get an idea of what i should write.Lets pick a topic.Perhaps i should write something about me.Do you realize I rarely post stuff about myself?Well today I am gonna write about my experience in Sunway University College. Before I finished my SPM i had lots of plans which involves one particular individual. After finishing SPM I came back to my hometown as you know i spend 2 years in a boarding school.I realized things have changed its not the same anymore.There goes my dream,hopes and plans.I had no plan B and so i had nothing to do.I decided to followed my parents advice and start studying.Of all the courses that are offered in this world I dunno why but I chose Australian Matriculation.Less than a month after SPM I start studying again.I know it will be tough at the same time I know it is gonna be awesome.I always imagined college life would be like in the movie American Pie. Trust me it is not at all like that but still it is awesome. My first day in college I felt like ive been there for years I already had so many friends I know studying in the same college so it wasnt that hard to fit in.However I am not the type that will stick with the same group of friends all the time. I meet new people I try to make friends with everyone. Trust me I met some of the most wonderful people in my life in college. These people had something most of my friends in school didnt have.RESPECT.They respect each other and they treat each other like humanbeing.Being in college really helps me in the process of moving on from my hope and dream.It was very hard but I was lucky to meet friends that i dare say I will NEVER forget forever in my life.What seemed impossible became possible. The time I spend with my college friends gave me the time and space I needed to accept the harsh reality of life. I wanted to become a better leader so I decided to join the Ausmat Student Council. It was interesting to be in the council I had the chance to work with a bunch of aspiring leaders thats not only very comitted but also fun to work with. We were given the responsibility to handle activities for Ausmat such as I-CARE DAY(some charitable thing),Sunway Sports Carnival,Theme Day,Ausmat Talent night to name a few. I would like to highlight The Sunway Sports Carnival as I was one of the few person incharged of it. I always had this interest in sports. Be it football,golf,badminton,table tennis I just like sports.Me and one of my best friend in college were incharge of the Ausmat contigent.I cant remember how many events we had but swimming,futsal,ping-pong,tennis,netball was on the list.It wasnt an easy task to esemble teams for each of the event.I had to find people not only from my intake(jan)but also people from march intake which I barely knew. With the help of everyone in the student council we were the only course that were represented in all the sports.It was a great success.I mean winning is a different story but participating having the fighting spirit that was the most important thing. We had that in Ausmat.Ausmat was fun but at the same time tough.I had tests almost every week.To make it worse each and every test was counted in the overall mark. Bassically i had to study the whole year.Study,Study,Study and suddenly it was already mid year.Time just move on and on leaving me with no time.Mid year holidays we had a trip to Langkawi.It was an eye opener because it was my first trip without an adult and with just my friends.If I start writing about the trip this whole post will only be about the trip because soo many things happened. The trip will always be in memory as one of the sweetest memory I had in college.Besides that in college we had more freedom.Which means more adventures together.Me and my friends expereinced a whole lot of new experience which includes accident,transvitite,ghost hunting,movies,food,drinks,futsal,driving,football.It is fair to say Ausmat wasnt just about academic education but it have also taught me more about real life experience.Enough said Ausmat.If you realized I didnt mentioned any names in my story. The reason is im not so good in remembering peoples name and if I start to name I might just forget some people and I dun want anyone to be left out of this story so it is safe to say i would never forget you people even if i dun remember ur name.I almost forget, in college I had this huge crush on a girl but she left Ausmat after our first sem and yeah I will not forget her also because concentrating my mind on her helped me a lot.I wanted to move on and so it helps a lot when i have someone to think about. Nothing happened but it was refreshing to meet someone new and interesting like her.She's the type of girl that could shine even in the darkest situation.Honestly I dunno wat I am saying so lets go on to other topics.You know what?On second thought I think I will name friends that I will definitely not forget its not that I will forget everyone else in Ausmat but these people are a lil special to me personally for various reasons.Adam.Adnesh.Anil.Amrita(both).Angeline.Andrea.Barath.Boh.Jess.Young.Radin.Chui.Wawa.Fel.Tanisha.Abdul.Faiz.Ieka.James.Janice.Jq.Renu.Pradina.Kevin.Khai Wen.LiShion.Michael.Nelly.Pao.Sarah.Shobz.Shra.Syahmi.Vj.YunTeng.Zainol.
Thanx for being my friend.Ausmat ended but I do hope our friendship stays.we might not see each other everyday again next year but I hope the memories of seeing each other in college almost eveyday this year will stay with us forever.To my fellow council members it was a pleasure to work with you guys.

Four letter Word

heyy guys thanx for viewing my blog.feel free to comment and discuss my posts.well this is something I wrote while studying bio.Guess wat??I have two more papers and im done with Ausmat..yeayyy!!I wish you guys good luck and all the best in life..wish me luck too yeahh=)Think.Imagine.Believe.

Four letter Word

I wanted to understand the true meaning of love

I tried searching for love

When I met you I thought I found love

The mutual feeling did not last long

I might not have found my love

But I certainly did understood

More if not much about love

Its not just another four letter word

It made me smile

At the same time made me cry

It made me try

Things I could never imagine or believe

When I lost you

I have lost a lot

But all is not gone

If you allow me to be a sport

I will keep all my words

As I once told you

I will be happy if you are happy

It will always be true till the day I die

-extraordinary me,18-

My Beautiful Book

My Beautiful Book

You are a book,

With a beautiful cover

The moment I saw you

I was mesmerized

I had to read you

I wasnt thinking about what would happen

I want to read you

True enough what people say

Dont judge a book by its cover

Because after reading you

I have to say it is not easy to understand you

But I dont care about your cover anymore

I realized what's inside you is so much

more than your cover

I swear that even if the cover is gone

in years to come

I wouldnt mind reading you again and again

Why would I read the same book again and again?

Some people call it stupidity

I call it loyalty.

By Ahmad Ridhuan,18.

Sepi dan setia

I watched this interesting movie,Sepi. Sepi is perhaps one of the best malaysian movie ever made and so i decided to write wat i think about a poem from the movie.

Kita hidup. Kita mati. Sungguh singkat perjalanan ini. Seringkali kita sibuk mencari kebahgiaan. Menghimpit diri dengan masalah. Memerah akal menyelesaikan masalah. Kita lupa memberi peluang kepada diri kita untuk mempunyai ruang bersendiri. Apabila sepi mennyelubungi jiwa. Ketika itu barulah kita sedar akan peluang-peluang yang sudah berlalu dan pintu-pintu yang sudah tertutup buat selamanya. Memang benar takdir menentukan segalanya. Tetapi salah kah kita memberi peluang kepada diri sendiri untuk bahagia? Dia ada dia. Mengapa saya tidak boleh bersama dia? Mereka bahagia.Tidak layakkah saya merasai kebahgiaan. Kenapa perlu setia kalau bahagia boleh wujud dari cinta? Kenapa risau tentang kata-kata orang? Saya adalah saya. Saya tetap saya. Kamu adalah kamu. Kamu tetap kamu. Kalau saya dan kamu boleh bahagia. Mengapa perlu setia? Saya pernah setia. Saya tetap terluka. Saya masih ditemani sepi. Buka minda selami perasaan fahami jiwa. Bahagia tak semestinya setia.

Is loyalty necessary?

I loyalty necessary in a relationship. That's my question perhaps some of you with experience can elaborate more. However this is my opinion ,loyalty is not needed in a relationship nad this is based on experience and observation. Why we dont need loyalty in a relationship. You see if you are in a relationship the chances are very high that you are blinded by love. And this is everything you need in a relationship. Look at what happened between Ashley and Cheryl Cole. Ashley cheated on her he had affairs with other women. You tell me is it acceptable?No?Yes?the answer is NO! but then she forgave him and accepted him back. See you dont need to be loyal to be in a relationship. Another scenario, you can be loyal to one girl not for a few days, not for a few months but a few YEARS and in the end she falls in love with another guy and thats the end of everything. See you dont need to be loyal. Being loyal hurts a lot but in return you dont usually get what you deserve.So its a choice that most of us have. So why be loyal if love overcomes everything?Why be in a relationship when you can be in a few relationship just make the guy/girl fall in love with you and he/she will definitely forgive you no matter what you do. Of course you can choose to be loyal to one wonderful guy/girl but be prepared to face the consequences. To wrap this random topic let me share with you something i learn in life and I learnt it the hardway. Loyalty is important but not necessary in a relationship..=D

yesteryears

Extraordinary Her

this poem is inspired by one of my coolest friend,Wan Zan Nureen =D

Extraordinary Her

If you were a flower

you would be a white rose

with pure white petals signifying your pureness

If you were a painting

you are a colourful painting

of a beautiful scenery

If you were a song

you will have an honest lyric

with a loud music

sang by a true rockstar

If you were a poem

You will be words

arranged to describe eternal beauty

If you were a dress

You will be a black dress

worn by a princess

to charm her prince charming

But since you are human

You dont have to be anything else

but yourself

As you yourself means everything

-extraordinaryme,18-

Enough is enough

• Everyday we can see news updates about our political situation.
• If you care to read not only the main stream media but also the alternative media I am sure you will realize how screw up our country is now.
• We are make to believe that our economy is growing smoothly and everything is fine in this country.
• But honestly you and me should know that it is not true. If we our economy is growing why on earth are we facing extremely high inflation? Food price is not stable oil price is still high despite the decrase in the world oil price.
• They say the retail price of petrol will be based on the average monthly market price of world crude oil. Again you and me should know this is not true.
• Enough about economics because i am not really a pro in this matter having studied only basic econs.
• However having studied in MRSM a school dominated by my own race and Sunway University where my own race is the minority I can see a clearer picture of where this country is going.
• We Malays always think that the Chinese and Indians are always there to kill us or if Malaysia is under attack they the Chinese will run to China and the Indians will run back to India leaving the Malays to die in Malaysia. This is very wrong. I can tell you most of my chinese and indians friends consider Malaysia as THEIR country not CHINA or INDIA and that most of them is willing to die for this country.
• Correct me if I am wrong.
• We have to change this perspective because if we want to continue leading this country we have to lead everyone.
• I really dont understand our leaders they are voted to lead Malaysia not their own race and yet they are more interested in fighting for thier own race be it chinese, malay or Indian.If one race is developed more than the other races this is actually a failure in our leadership.
• Because our country is not meant for one race but for all the races.
• HAve we forgotten the challenges of VISION 2020?
  Challenge 1: To form a nation that stands as one.
  Challenge 2: To produce a Malaysian community that has freedom, strength, and full of self confidence.
  Challenge 3: To develop a mature democratic community.
  Challenge 4: To form a community that has high morale, ethics and religious strength.
  Challenge 5: To cultivate a community that is matured and tolerant.
  Challenge 6: To form a progressive science community.
  Challenge 7: To cultivate a community rich in values and loving culture.
  Challenge 8: To ensure the formation of a community with a fair economy.
  Challenge 9: To cultivate a prosperous community.

Let's go thorugh all the challenges and what have we achieved so far and let me remind you we have only 12 years left.

Challenge 1: Bumiputera with thei own issue non bumis with their issues perhaps we are one of the most divided nation
Challenge 2: with the draconion law ISA anyone can be detained the word freedom itself is not in our nations dictionary
Challenge 3: Democratic community? tell me how on earth is democracy possible with ISA
Challenge 4 : Religious are not being respected this is my personal opinion if you are a non believer you dont deserve to discuss someone elses religion you can say good things and bad things theres no point because u dont believe in it.
Challenge 5 : HOw is the community going to be matured and tolerant when our leaders arent
Challenge 6: Science and Maths in BM?How is that helping in the progress of scientific community?
Challenge 7 :We are still racially divided..where is the love?
Challenge 8: Our government is practicing fair economy.(Anyone agree?)
Challenge 9: Prosperous community is a united community but look what happen when the rakyat are united?Their leaders are sent into ISA.

with 12 years left sadly we are so far away. Each year we are drifting even more further from achieving vision 2020. Correct me if i am wrong. CHANGE IS NEEDED NOW!

Someone please explain to me

If its too hard to understand me,understand my words

I want to fall in love again

But Im afraid to lose someone

The way I lost you

I want to fall in love again

But I am afraid

To be hurt again

Because to heal the wound

It felt impossible

I want to fall in love again

But I was was convinced that wou were the one for me

Look what happened,now

I want to fall in love again

But if I move one to the next stage

I am afraid that it would get me back

to where I am now

I want to fall in love again

But you as my history

I dont think i'll get a better story

I want to fall in love again

Because Im soo over you

But the thought of losing a bestfriend

the way i Lost you as my best friend

I'd rather die alone

I want to fall in love again

As i dont live in memories anymore

But I dont want to live in those memories again

I have reasons to be afraid

You were my bestfriend.Now you are my friend

I am fine with that. I dont want it to repeat.

by Ahmad Ridhuan Alauddin

Almost Here...

This song is seriously very meaningful im posting this for one of my friend!(wawa u should read this lyriq and listen to the song!)=)

Almost here by Delta Goodrem and Brian McFadden

Did I hear you right'cause

I thought you said

Let's think it over

You have been my life

And I never planned

Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light

Where the love once shined so bright

Came without a reason

Don't let go on us tonight

Love's not always black and white

Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you

You're almost here

And I know that's not enough

And when I'm with you

I'm close to tears'

cause your only almost here

I would change the world

If I had a chance

Oh won't you let me

Treat me like a child

Throw your arms around me

Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words

Dazed and shattered now it hurts

Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you

You're almost here

And I know that's not enough

And when I'm with you

I'm close to tears'cause your only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words

Dazed and shattered now it hurts

Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you

You're almost here

Well I never knew how far behind

I'd left you

And when I hold you your almost here

Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

And now I'm with you

I'm close to tears'cause I know

I'm almost here

Only almost here

Marie Digby

Well this is something I wrote for Marie Digby=D

Marie Digby

Sing Marie sing,

Because there ain't no other reason

heaven sent you here

Smile Marie smile,

I'll run a million miles,

Just to catch your smile

Strum Marie strum,

keep strumming your guitar,

you are the star,

That rhymes the songs,

Play Marie play the piano,

You are the voice on the radio,

That's in my dream every night,

It seems to me that you are the angel

the voice that makes me swoon,

Shall I say it again?

Marie Digby sing,

keep singing

Cuz there aint no other reason

Heaven sent you here.=)

-extraordinary me,18-

If u dare to dream,face the Consequences

What if u cant explain something with words?Explain it with pictures!As pictures can mean a thousand words and can be viewed with your own perspective and be judged by your own judgement so i decided to post pictures of something that if you ask me to describe I would say it in one word SPECIAL.But if u ask me to explain I just cant..

"If my life is a clock all this while it have been rotating anti-clockwise, but now FINALLY it is rotating in a direction that makes more sense..clockwise"
-extraordinaryme,18-

Harapan

Einstein said: imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create.

For today's post i'll let my imagination take over. Imagine what are my policies if i become the prime minister of Malaysia

• Let Malay be malays let chinese be chinese and let indians be indians. Let them improve themselves for the benefit of the country.
• I wont waste time trying to promote Bangsa Malaysia because it will never happen say wtv u want but right now the mindset of our people is still not up to that standard.
• Thats why each of the races have to resolve their internal prejudice first before we can start talking about uniting everyone.
• Policies implemented by my government should promote competitiveness among all the races.
• Wheter we like it or not thats the only way people will innovate. Improve themselves for their own benefit.
• Scholarships will be divided into two.
• Education and sports.
• Strictly Merit based.
• It ahould be based on true Islamic leadership.
• A true Islamic leadership does not discriminate it is colour blind.
• I did not say Islamic country because theres no point in becoming an Islamic country if its policies are un-Islamic.
• Free of corruption-this might be impossible therefore even if theres corruption it shouldnt affect the people in any way.
• Wth am I saying if thats what you are thinking now. Its reality! there are no country in this world that is free from corruption but with an affective ACA it will be kept at the most minimum level thus it shouldnt affect my people in any way.
• Conserving the environment should be the number one priority in any development plan.
• I dont want to pass down a country that is worthless to my successor.
• No ONE is guilty until proven guilty.
• Politician sets policies but based on research and development that are made by geniuses that specialist in specific fields. Professors,engineers,doctors in other words PROFESSIONALS.
• Im done imagining stuffz-all I can say is one day when the time comes VOTE FOR ME.
• A realistic change with a significant impact. I have a dream I want Malaysia to change the world.
• THINK.IMAGINE.BELIEVE

An extraordinary Girl I call my Friend

In life there are so many moments but breathtaking moments will always be remembered. It becomes stories that are highlighted to be told again and again through out our life time. She took my breath away. Thats why my life story have always been related to her. Today instead of using her as my main character i will use YOU because this post is meant for you and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. If you dont understand it means nothing and i am just wasting my time doing nothing.

Why do you remind me of Isabella Swan?It is not easy to come out with words because you are very important and since u have always been breathtaking to me for once i want to take ur breath away with my words. Of all the characters in this world Isabella Swan is the only character that i think suits you.

She's delicate but at the same time unbreakable. She seems to be flawless but at the same time not perfect.

She's smart I cant remember any stupid moves,words,decision that u take at least for the pass six years.

She made not one but two wonderful guys fall for her.They are both wonderful, naturally she had to make a choice and her choice was her choice and theres nothing anyone can do to stop it. It is destined to be like that.

You say you are normal and indifferent,the same way bella describe herself but in reality we know she is not normal and a totally different type of girl. the type that we dont see everyday trust me its really hard to meet someone like you and bella.

You know when to speak up and when to shut up. Now I really respect you for that ability.I might have described Isabella Swan in so many ways but I dun think i have described even a quarter of Isabella Swan.Thats why i say you remind me of Isabella Swan you are indescribable my dear friend and since u have read the book you should KNOW more about her.

People tend to forget NOT everyone wants to be Edward Cullen.As love is not life.Love justifies feelings but life,theres so much more in it.Being acknowledged might just be good enough to some people.THINK.IMAGINE.BELIEVE.

Say Goodbye!

Say Goodbye!

Why anything have to start

When nothing last forever

Why a journey have to begin

When soon it will end

Why laughter have to be so fun

When tears hurts forever

It might be too late

But I would rather wait

Because I know it is not the right time

For me to say something

And hope anything from you, my friend

But I have no regrets

I said hye when I first met you

And i was right

You are special in so many ways

So now I say goodbye

Just like I said hye

With no regrets

At least you are my friend now

And I hope you will be my friend forever

-extraordinaryme,18-=)

Change

well finally after a few weeks Im gonna update my beloved blog..life have been very busy with ee2 and topic tests..

Ive been watching a lot of movies lately and I have to say theres this 2 movies that really made me think.

• Great Expectations
  


• Just Add Water

Let me explain briefly the storyline of both the movies

Great Expectations

Its about an artist that went through so many things to become famous.He went through a lot of suffering to become famous so that he can actually win his first love back.But when he actually achieved everything he became famous and he had lots of money his first love had fallen for someone else and got married. The interesting part is the story doesnt end there both of them moved on the artist went around the world he met new people visited new places.Many things have changed in his life exept one his love for the girl.The girl on the other hand things wasnt that smooth for her. She split with her husband and had their child.Eventually her path crossed with his path again and they end up together.the end

Just Add water

Its about a guy that's very loyal to his wife,a responsible father staying in the once idyllic, now decrepit and barren town of Trona. Why did he stayed there?In order to remain near the unrequited love of his youth. And one day he found out that he's wife have been having an affair with a guy even before their forced marriage. His wife actually accused him of being the father of her child because she wanted marry him. And so he chased her out of his house and started a new life. After 18 years he finally asked the girl of his dream out.And they live happily ever after.the end.

Okay my friends would you actually wait that long for your first love?Both guys in the movie had actually went through soo many hardship and changes in life before finally getting their true love. Some movies actually makes us believe in true love but does it really exist? I personally dont think it exist. I believe in my life i will find someone but she would be someone that is compatible with that suits me not ture love. To me true love is just a perception created to make us believe life is fair when the truthe is life is unfair. I have this friend who actually tells me his relationship problem when he's drunk isnt alcohol suppose to make you forget all your problems?Speaking about this particular friend he loved his gf or should i say his ex soo very much but in the end they broke up in a very bad way. I dont blame him at all she refused to understand and accused him of things that I know is not true. To make it worse she got in a relationship because she wants to forget him.What the hell is wrong with her thats the only thing i can say.Lets get back to my topic would you actually wait?Let me reveal something about myself. After meeting soo many people and going through so many changes. I am actually still in love with HER(u know who). Not only because i promised but because i believe if i were to end up with my true love its only her which is very unlikely the way i see it now. Our path are going so far away eventhough i still secretly hope that it will cross one day i have a feeling its not going to happen i dunno why but thats how i feel. So for me i would wait but since she said no so what's left for me is hope.Don't get me wrong her happiness is still the main priority not my happiness or my feelings. So wtv it is if she's happy i am happy..rite now im wondering why am i writing about this when im supposed to write about politics so that i can make an impact on the society.I know why.. because Im feeling emotional perhaps i'll write about politics when i am patriotic.My friends i am sorry if i have wasted your time but i hope my thoughts can make you understand life a lil bit better=)

Masihkah

Lets get serious I wanna express my thoughts about my beloved malaysia. Since i left school i havent got ay chance to write in my national language so now im gonna do it!=)



Masihkah ada harapan untuk kita?Siapa kita?Generasi pelapis yang bakal menerajui tampuk kepimpinan negara kita. Masihkah wajar bagi kita bermimpi mengendalikan dan memacu negara tercinta ke arah mencapai lebih bayak kegemilangan. Senario politik masa kini amat mengelirukan dan sinar harapan semakin malap. Persoalan utama adakah langkah-langkah yang diambil oleh pemimpin kita hari ini cukup pro aktif bagi menjamin satu masa depan yang cemerlang? Sama ada kita suka atau tidak kita terpaksa menerima bahwa setelah 50 tahun dilepaskan daripada cengkaman penjajah kita masih terbahagi mengikut kaum.Pelbagai dasar telah dibuat bagi menyatukan semua rakyat menjad satu bangsa Malysia. Hasilnya tidaklah seberapa. Mungkinkah usaha seterusnya harus berubah. Mungkin juga objektif kita seharusnya ke arah sesuatu yang berbeza. Mengapa? Kerana tiada gunanya berusaha melakukan sesuatu yang hasilnya sia-sia. Jika setelah anda membaca setakat ini mula timbul persoalan di minda apa kewajarna saya menulis mengenai isu ini. Harus diingat jika tiada langkah drastik diambil untuk memperbetulkan keadaan kami generasi ini harapaan untuk menjadi satu bangsa malaysia yang gemilang akan hanya menjadi satu mimpi indah yang tidak menjadi kenyataan. Tatkala ekonomi negara dan dunia terumbang ambing pemimpin kita sekadar mampu mengaburkan mata rakyat dengan statistik yang jelas tidak melambangkan penderitaan rakyat jelata. Sebelum saya meneruskan ingin saya tegaskan di sini bahawa tulisan ini adalah pandangan peribadi, saya tidak mewakili mana2 pihak. Mungkinkah sudah tiba masanya kepimpinan negara ini bertukar agar anjakan paradigma dapat dibawa dengan segara kepada negara kita yang semakin tenat. Tsunami politik yang berlaku awal tahun ini sudah jelas membawa sentimen rakyat walaupun masih belum menyeluruh itu adalah petanda awal kepada perubahan yang lebih dahsyat,perubahan yang ketagih majoriti rakyat bumi merdeka ini. Walau apa perubahan itu kepentingan rakyat haruslah diutamakan dan rakyat Bukan hanya terdiri daripada satu kaum atau tiga kaum tetapi semua warganegara bumi bertuah ini. Sebagai permulaan sampai disini dahulu coretan saya buat masa ini. Ini permulaan dalam usaha memupuk kesedaran dalam kalangan generasi muda yang rata2 tidak ambil peduli akan masa depan negara ini.

fourteen

While browsing through my old files i found this poem that i wrote with my friend..we were 14 at that time=)

What if that day wont come..

Ive been walking through this lonely road

ive been sailing through this soulless ocean

through the same path

again and again

miles and miles have passed

in my shadows

i see hopes thats fading each day

i could sense fear

creeping from deep down inside my heart

strong pillars built to last are patiently supporting this soul

but someday and somehow i know it will falter

till the day comes

wait is all I could bear

I understand

longing is a very solitary thing

hurts and it feels like never

Some people call it stupidity

I call it loyalty.

-extraordinaryme & amy,14-

Understand

while listening to miss ruba's(econs lecturer) lecture about unemployment i wrote this:

If The World Can Understand me

I gave you my words

I told you I'll love you forever

Yes I will

As I am a man of my words

Perhaps now I define love differently

They can say what they want to say

I really dont care

But I know you care

I am sorry

 But they have to understand

Love doesnt mean being with you

But being there for you when you need me

Love doesnt mean hoping you will love back

It is unconditional and irrevocable

I dont dream to be your prince charming

At least not anymore

You crush me into pieces with your stories

I dont mind being the pieces

Only if it means something to you

I said something not everything

I have come to understand 

The more important thing is not our history

But its our friendship

-extraordinaryme,18-

to my beautiful friend..theres no point feeling bad for something that had happened.I believe in destiny and it was destined to be like that theres nothing that I can do. Until today I hold on to wat you said a few years back...what is meant to happen will happen and everything happens for a reason. It is hard to accept but life is never easy. We can regret our history but we certainly cant change it. Looking forward to the future is a much better thing to do and thats more important.i might not be your bestfriend but you will always be my bestfriend.I hope its understandable.the end.=)

love is not a fairy tale(part 3)

firstly i would like to thank all of u that actually read my posts anyway have fun in life because life is too short!i'll continue my story.

Ku cuba redakan relung hati,

Bayangmu yang berlalu pergi,

Terlukis di dalam kenangan,

Bebas bermain di hatiku….

I was already in secondary school. Everything changed. New school,new friends,old friends, new teachers new subjects the time has come for me to grow up. I cant be living in my childhood days anymore. The life in secondary school is different. At that time i sort of lost contact with her. As expected she went to an all girl school. It could be the end of our short friendship but deep down inside i know it is not possible. Furthermore our school is just a few km away.

Theres nothing much that i can do. She was never in my group of friends so eventhough i am still in contact with my friends that's in her school i was not in contact with her. I might not be in contact with her but my heart at the time is still with her.

After a while i kinda got bored and decided perhaps the best thing is to move on with life. She is just a childhood memory. Me and Adam(my bestfriend) were still pretty much close despite being in different school's. We still attend our daily religious class together. It was very fun not only because we learnt so much in the classes but also because we are able to actually meet up everyday. We had a friend a senior infact. She was in the same school with her. She updates me with the girl of my dreams progress now and then. She was very helpful towards me and adam in the sense that she helped us a lot to understand about girls and all about their complicated friends. She even offered to introduce us to girls from her school. She brought pictures(library cards) of girls that she thinks we might be interested. Until today i wonder how she managed to get all those library cards. Its hilarious when you think back. But what can i say we were kids.

Then the friendster era came. Adam introduced me to friendster. I registered and in no time i adding all my primary school mate. I was searching for he account but I couldnt find it until I found her bestfriend's account. I didnt added her immediately because I am not sure wheter she remembers me. She knew I had a crush on her back in primary school but she didnt i still have feelings for her. So I sent her a very polite message who is she. And her reply was 'Dont act stupid i know u know who I am' After months of waiting that reply was not bad at all. She actually remembers thats the important thing.

We became friends. Not just friends but good friends. A few weeks after I added her on messenger I actually confessed. There's no point waiting any longer because i thought ive waited long enough. And that was my initial thoughts because it was just the beginning. I made it clear that i would like to win her heart. Her response was favorable. The pursue of fai's heart begun. After a few months I cant remember how and why but i actually asked her to be my girlfriend. I also cant remember why but she rejected the proposal. You see there are certain things in life that you dont want to remember and actually you will not remember it.

So now what?Give up?No way! It was just my first try. I was not prepared to give up. Actually I did think about giving up so i asked Lynn(one of my oldest and best friend) should i or should I not continue. She did not gave me an answer but asked me one question that means a lot. She asked me whether all the hassles that I have gone true and challenges that I am about to face for this girl is worth it. I said I am not sure. She said the only one that can answer that question is me and I should no the answer.

What do u think is my answer?Yes she's worth it. Spend time knowing her and i dare say you will definitely like her. She's not a girl that you meet everyday. She's one in a million or make it one in a billion. She wont say things that you want to hear but things that you NEED to hear. She wont give you false hope but you will still hope for her. I would prefer not to describe her physical appearance because that's not important(she's really really really really really x1000 beautiful!=) hehe..)

Like i said i never gave up.. since that year I asked her to be my gf every year until I got her. Since I am actually trying preserve my memories because this is my history in years to come theres so many people that I will meet and so many stories and I might forget the detail of the story of my first love.