When I saw your facebook profile today
I realized I havent been there
for a quite a while
I see you now
Though from a distant, very far away
I saw
everything that I have always wanted
in my life
Its like what I dreamt of
Years ago
It is now reality
Things seems to be just like
Everything that I had planned
For me,for you,for us
We are in uni,young and preparing 
for the future
Unfortunately things are different today
There's me,there's you but no more us
It will never be the same again
Im not that stupid
To even have a glimpse of hope
It is true
We can plan
But Allah has his own plans
for us
Everything happens for a reason
I hope you know
I feel extremely happy for you
As I said
once upon a time
It doesnt matter 
Who I am to you
What's important is your happiness,

Nur Kasih

Inspired by a Malaysian drama, Nur Kasih. Honestly, I rarely follow any Malaysian drama but this one is different. It is impressive!Thumbs up to the director Khabir Bhatia and the actors despite not all being well known produced an outstanding story. I did watched some Malay movies in cinema last year for the sake of supporting the industry because studying economics had made be understand that without support there is no way our industry was survive. Some movies were impressive but others just wasnt good enough. Well, Nur Kasih isnt a movie but its a drama worth checking out. 

Cahaya Kesetiaan

Kau sendiri dalam segala rahsia

Tentang cinta dan derita

Yang telah kau pendam

Sekian lama dalam diam

Segala kerana perasaan kasih

Setia kepada si suami

Sesuci hati seorang isteri

Bukan salah mu,

Segala derita ini

namun kau tetap tabah

Menghadapi segala pancaroba

Tak pernah sekali kau cuba

Menyalahkan tadir

Mahupun berputus asa

Terus teguh menngabdikan diri

Kepada yang maha esa

Sesungguhnya hati ini

Mungkin punya pilihan sendiri

Mengharapkan jalan yang mudah

Tetapi Ingatlah wahai kasih

Hanya tuhan yang menentu

Hala tuju manusia yang hanyalah hamba

Janganlah hampa

Terus kecewa

Suatu hari

Pastinya tiba Saat bahagia

Teruslah percaya

Jangan berhenti

Segala ini, hanya dugaan.

Ahmad Ridhuan Alauddin,19

Salam Ramadhan

I am very thankful to god that I am given the chance to experience this month once more. I wish my fellow Muslim friends all the best, may we use this blessed month the best way possible. It is really amazing for me to look back because for the past three years I have spent this month in 3 different places. 3 years ago I was in Lenggong. Studying for my SPM preparing for THE exam of my life. I was young, 17 to be exact. Last year, I was at home. Enjoying the comfort of my bedroom and mums cooking. Again preparing for another big exam. I was doing my AUSMAT. It was a transition for me coming from a school that have got 97% muslim student to a college that have got less than 10% Muslim student. Back in school everyone was fasting but in college it felt like no one was fasting. However thanks to my wonderful wonderful friends in college it was fun! They were very understanding in fact they were days that we fasted together and when to break fast together. I’ll always remember those days. Finally this year! Here I am far away from home. Things are definitely more challenging here. Unlike previous years I will have to prepare my own food! I really wonder how am I gonna cook especially when I have to cook for the whole house without tasting what I’m cooking. We’ll see how it goes. One thing I realize this year is that next year, Insyaallah I wont be in a different place. I am finally settled at least for another 3 years!It might not be a big deal for other people but is for me. Only god knows what I had went through due to all the uncertainties surrounding my life. All the pressure I had to deal with. Alhamdulillah for now I have a clearer path. Definitely not easy but at least I know where I’ll be next year. Whats gonna happen after that. I shall let time decide. One more thing. I'll be back home soon!

I want a star

When I look at the stars

I believe that there are other stars up above the sky
Because I can see
It is the same
for certain things in life
I need prove
I want to be convinced
I want to believe
That there are other 'stars'
Might not be as bright
Might not be as beautiful
At least it is up there.

I dont wanna fall in love

Not again.

Because I dont want to hurt anyone
And be hurt by anyone
I dont want to let anyone down
and be let down by anyone
The notion of love doesnt suit me anymore
It had left me feeling so alone
When she's not with me
It had made me cry
When she doesnt reply my text messages
It had gave me sleepless night
Thinking about her and how to make her happy
I thought I couldnt live without her
Who says I cant survive without love?
I dont need to fall in love 
Even if I want to be with someone
I just need to be committed
I just need to trust
I just need to be there for her
I just need to be with her,just her
I just need to be her friend
I just need to be her partner in every way possible
I just need to care about her
NO,I dont need to fall for her
We can be happy
Aint that what everyone need from a relationship
We let our mind be blurred
By a perception that love is all we need
to be happy 
I despise that
Why love when it cant give you happiness?
Why love when it hurts you?
Why love if it forces you to do stupid things?
In the end.
You get absolutely nothing from it.
Yes it can stay with you as happy memories.
Is that what you need? 

Funny People

Underneath anger, there's hurt.

Underneath hurt, there's love.
-from the movie Funny People-


Some things in life are meant to be only in my dreams I guess


If you want to see the world
Can I be the one with you
I wont promise you the world
But I can tell that you'll be my world
I wanna sing and dance and cry
With no one else but you
We will drive on the roads
We can swim through the streams
Climb the mountains and run on trails
I'll be there just for you
We take one step every time
I just need you to be you
-extraordinaryme, 19-

The day

Each year I would write something on my birthday.

Usually it would be something unusual.

Not This Year.

Maybe because Im tired?

Maybe because Im confused?

Maybe because I am uninspired?

I am done.