Moving on

It is something easier said than done. It can take years or in some cases days but it is definitely not an easy task to move on from a broken relationship. I admit I myself took 3 years and few thousand miles before I can really say that I have finally moved on. Having said that let me be honest I am not 100% sure but I think I can already accept the fact that we were just not meant to be.I think I have gone through that stage of life fairly well. You might be wondering why am I talking bout this? It is because I am seeing the same situation happening to one of my friend. It hurts I know how it feels I really hope she can see it in a very mature and rational manner. I dont want anyone else to feel what I felt. The devastating impact it can be bring to our life might just be very bad that we cant recover from it. Until today I still find it impossible to fall for someone else. There are people that I really like but I just couldnt take that one extra step because I have become traumatized. I do not blame anyone except for myself. Yes it was my first love.Yes she was my dream girl. However when it comes to a relationship feelings are just not enough there are other things that matters. Life is like a book. There are many pages.There are chapters. There are beginning and last but not least there are endings. You just have to accept it and go through it.It is your story you cant blame anyone else if it is not the story that you wanted. God have got it all written down. The stories are all destined. You never know the ending but you just have to keep going on, moving on. I have learnt this from my own experience. I refused to let go. That was the whole problem. The moment when I left my country  that was when I told myself this is it if I don't move on now I will miss a lot. I will be sad all the time because I know I am alone here. Surprisingly the world didn't end, as a matter of fact I feel better. Firstly because I can now treat her like my best friend. Moving on doesn't mean I do not love her anymore. Just that in a different way,in a very special way. Secondly I meet other people. I open myself to new possibilities. Now I can see there are actually other extraordinary girls out there. This have made me believe that despite losing the most perfect girl that I have known in my life there is actually hope that I can meet someone else that is perfect for me. I end this with a quote from the movie '17 Again' When you're young everything feels like the end of the world. But it's not; it's just the beginning. You might have to meet a few more jerks, but one day you're gonna meet someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Like the sun rises and sets with you.

Adelaide update

It is hard to believe that things are going to be moving this fast. It felt like just yesterday I arrived here in Adelaide for what I expected to be the ride of my life. Now I am already going into my second semester in university. Life hasnt been like I imagined. I have always said. I am not here just to get a degree. I have got other missions. So far it hasnt been that way. Studies are going on well, Im also coping with the new environment met a lot of friends. However I dont really see myself gaining experiences that can be used for my future career.NOT YET.  I am not doing any part time job which from my point of view is very important to get on hands business experience, Im not communicating with any locals I dont have any Australian friends, I am not socializing, creating networks and also I havent joined the gym. I am not actively involved in any clubs or society though I did signed up for the labor party club of Adelaide. Well those are stuffs that I have failed to achieve in semester one which I hope I can do it in semester 2. On the other hand what I have managed to do in semester 1 includes going around Australia. Visited Sydney,CAnberra and Melbourne(twice!), constantly attending islamic talks,passed all my subjects,full attendance for principle of microeconomics(tutorial and lectures),full attendance for comparative politics(lecture) and thats about it. Things are not all bad here. Even though Once a while I still get lonely but thank god Ive got lots wonderful friends and family members that are willing to talk to me online. It wouldnt be unfair to say that my macbook is my best friend in Adelaide. Every day and night happy or sad she is always there for me. I'll die without her=D I guess it is impossible to achieve everything in one shot but it is important to have a goal in life. I believe it makes my life more organized and more focussed.

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Ku harus percaya

Kemampuan itu ada.

 

 

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Ku perlu akur

Ku harus berkorban

 

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Ku harus berubah

Agar mimpi menjadi kenyataan

 

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Ku harus gengam bara api

 Sampai jadi abu

 

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Bukan dunia harus ku kejar

Dunia itu datang dengan akhirat

 

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Ku harus berani

Bukan sekadar berkata

 

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Ku harus bangkit

Meninggalkan kelalaian ini

 

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Ku harus mula sebelum fajar menyinsing

Bukan terkinja2 di waktu senja

 

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Ku tidak boleh mengharap

Tetapi menjadi harapan

 

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Ku tida boleh merasai benci

Tetapi menyedari cinta

 

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Ku  tidak mampu berseorang

Harus mengumpul angkatan

 

Jika ingin gegar dunia

Perlu bermula dengan aku

Demi agama,bangsa dan Negara.

-Ahmad Ridhuan Alauddin,19-

Bagaikan Pepasir di Pantai

We always forget, we let ourselves drown in sin everyday. It doesnt matter who you are,where you are from seeking forgiveness is important. I believe it makes life much simpler if you are not hated. There are things in life that I wished I didnt do, words that I shouldnt have said but I know I cant undo all of it. What I can do is probably not repeat all those regrettable things. Just because I cant undo all of it doesnt mean I can just let it be. So I seek forgiveness for all those things that cant be undo all those words that cant be unsaid. I cant change my past but I certainly can do something about my future. I cant fix all the mistakes but I shall try not to repeat it again. 

Dalam Menghadapi segala dosa-dosa lama,baru, yang akan datang,

bagaikan pepasir di pantai...

Wahai Tuhan ku,

Ku tak Layak ke syurgaMu,

Namun Tak pula sanggup ke nerakaMu

 

Ampunkan dosa-dosa ku

sesungguhnya Engkaulah Pengampun dosa-dosa besar.

Wahai Tuhan selamatkan kami ini 

Dari Segala kejahatan dan kecelakaan

Kami takut, Kami harap kepada Mu

Suburkan Cinta kami kepada Mu

Akulah hamba yang mengharap belas kasihan darimu

Life aint a movie

I have always wanted my life to be like the movies I watch. No matter what happens in the end it will be a happy ending.I hate watching movies with sad endings because I tend to relate myself with the characters. I dont usually put myself as the hero because I know I am no hero. I love to see the way problems are solved in movies. Regardless of the challenges the problem will be solved. It is also interesting to see how people accept or reject someone in movies.It seems that no matter what the consequences might be, it is bearable. Sometimes, I wish life was more like a movie. I do not expect a perfect movie. I do expect ups and downs but I want things to be more bearable. It so happens that I have to face harsh facts again and again in my life. The best way to describe my life would be a constantly declining graph. I pray to god everyday asking for forgiveness, asking for happiness asking for success. The only hope I have would be that one day all my prayers will be answered. I do not hope for something extraordinary not even a life like in the movies, I dont deserve that I know. I do not cry.I do not show my emotions not to you not to anyone. Deep down inside I know I am crying. I just wanna be happy.The end.

Destiny

I would say this is a very interesting piece.It came to me suddenly, I was doing maths while listening to some music and out of the blue i felt a sudden urge to write. I started writing this on one of my past year question paper. The more interesting part is that I am not sure whether I am inspired by a song or by someone or by life. Life is a mystery!=D

It was destined 

I dont need another chance

I have to take my chances

What's right or What's wrong

I cant be sure

I craved for a dream 

that was never meant to be

I waited for something

That made me lose my senses

I have and will always

believe in what I was destined

It was destined for me to fall for you

It was destined for me to make promises

It was destined for us to fall apart

It was destined that all my promises,

Be broken by time and distance

It was destined for me to see

There is more to life

It was destined for me to believe,again

I can smile and love

and be inspired

All at once

I can choose to explore

what's in stored for me

without being the one for you.